My computer finally has the internet so I am going to attempt to get a blog post written. It is so much easier this way than on my phone.
It is day 3 of being here. There are somethings I am starting to adjust to, but there are also many things that are hard. I am starting to get to know the men who work at the guesthouse a little better. One in particular I have had more conversations with and his English seems the best. His name is Omar. They others are friendly and kind. I am sure I will get to know Marcell, Robert, Festo, and the others more in the coming weeks. Most people are amazed I am staying here for 3 weeks. This gives more time to get to know them.
I've always known I'm bad at small talk, but whoa am I bad here. There is a lot of silence. The weather isn't as common as a topic to talk about here, as it is in Minnesota, because well the weather stays the same. Omar and I were just talking about the weather in Minnesota this morning and how differeint it is. Communication as a whole is difficult though. Some individuals have more English than others. I feel bad they have to accomodate to my language because I don't know theirs. I am learning to be uncomfortable with this, well I think I am. I have begun learning Kinyarwanda (more on this later), but it is a slow learning process.
This morning I had breakfast with a man from Burundi. He was a nice man. For sometime now, there has been conflict in Burundi which has meant many people from Burundi have been coming to Rwanda. There have been a few staying here.
One of the things I struggle with is names. There are some that are easier to remember than others, but I feel bad when I butcher saying their names and simply cannot remember them. I am praying God will help mt to get better at this.
Oh there is so much I want to write, but not sure I have enough time. Things have been hard. I am struggling with the expectations of me here. I am battling having to be this person who knows everything and is good at everything because I am a Westerner. I am battling the high expectations on Westeners. I cannot quite figure out how to navigate this. I will be doing a training next week and am really concerned about it. From what I observed yesterday, they do children's ministry really well. They have limited space and the space they have is not what they hope it to be. Yet, their teachers are amazing. I feel like instead of me teaching them, they should be teaching me. Oh it is beautiful how they do children's ministry and love the children. So, to be here to do a training is scary. What do I possibly have to teach them? I am praying hard God will show me.
Last night, I took my first motobike ride which was way more fun then I expected. David took me up to the Kingdom Gate school which he oversees. It is, I guess you could say on the outskirts of Kigali. The roads are no longer paved or brick, they are red dirt. He took me by were many individuals were gathering water. This was incredibly uncomfortable for me. He stopped right next to them to explain to me how dirty and unclean the water was. Here I was, a muzungu, who has access to some of the cleanest, purest water at home from Lake Superior, watching them get clean water. This was the piece of the trip that has hurt my heart the most so far. I felt so incredibly helpless and uncomfortable. I wandered what they could have possibly been thinking about me.
The motobike ride also allowed me to begin my lesson in Kinyarwanda. It is customary for you to say hello to those you pass. So David had me say it when we passed people. It was pretty funny to see the reactions of people when I said "Muraho" to them. A muzungu speaking Kinyarwanda isn't the norm. So that was interesting. David then gave me more of a lesson later in the evening while at his home.
I was able to have my first meal in the home of a Rwandan family. This was wonderful! I enjoyed being in there home with their children, eating with them, and learning. I will be spending much more time with them later in my stay here.
I am writing fast, because I don't have a lot of time. It is 9:30am here and I will be getting picked up shortly. Today, I am going to the Kigali Genocide Memorial. I am not sure how to prepare my heart for this. Learning this history is a key piece of why I came to Rwanda. It is hard for me to be thinking a lot about what these hill have seen and the stories these hills have in them.
Alright, I must go. I wanted to add some pictures to this post, but couldn't get it to work. However, I am not taken a ton of pictures because I want to be more present with those around me. Maybe when I get more comfortable with the culture I will take more.
Please be praying for my identity to be more deeply rooted in Jesus. I have struggled with certain areas of not being able to find God. And I have struggled with wondering if I made a mistake with all of it. So please pray about this. As well as for wisdom in teachings. Hopefully I will get to post more soon.