One of the passages in the Bible I have found the most comforting as I prepare to go to Rwanda is Ephesians 6:10-18:
“Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will stand firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.” (NLT)
As you begin to read this passage it might seem strange that I find comfort in it. I mean what is comforting about the fact that we are fighting against evil powers in a dark world? There are quite a few reasons why I find this passage comforting. Off the bat it states God is mighty and powerful, which if we are fighting on His side then that's pretty comforting. I want to focus on two other pieces of this passage though, since it would take a longer time to really unpack all of it.
First off, it helps make sense of things just a little bit more. I think it can often be missed that there is an unseen battle going on around us, at all times, between good and evil. Yet, when we recognize that, it sheds a little more light to why the world works the way it does. It can explain more of why, when we say yes to Jesus, things are often times harder. There is a common misconception that when you begin to lay your life down for Jesus than your life will be easier. Oh it is more joyful and fun, no doubt about that, but it isn’t easier.
When we say yes to God, in anything, we are simultaneously saying no to Satan. Satan doesn’t like that very much. In fact, he HATES it. Satan wants to have the control of our lives, not for God to have that control. This desire for control can result in intense attempts by Satan to get us to quit. I’ve felt this a lot on my journey. I won’t say everything that has been hard has been caused by Satan. I think God has challenged and stretched me on a few things that were just plain hard, but then there have been the dirty attempts by Satan to get me to quit.
Satan has tried tactic after tactic to get me to stop. He’s thrown fiery arrows at me from every angle and at every speed. The closer I have got to leaving the more intense I have felt these attacks become. I expected this to happen, but similar to many things we might expect, it doesn’t change the easiness of them. Over the last few days Satan has been playing an intense mental game with me. He has hit me in my most vulnerable place and has tried to pull me under. I’ve gone through bouts of intense shame, guilt, sadness, and confusion. On top of that comes the lies that I shouldn’t be feeling this way and that I should have it all together.
Oh man this has been hard, but then comes the second part of this passage that I love and find comforting: God equips us with what we need to fight those arrows and attacks. He’s given us His truths and righteousness, as well as the peace that comes with the Good News of Jesus! He’s provided us with faith, salvation, and His Word to stand firm in. God has given me everything I need to stand up against Satan’s schemes. Oh how comforting that is!
Since the very beginning of this journey I have prayed God would shape me into being a fighter! I want to pull that armor on and fight with everything I have. I want to fight this battle on the side of the Kingdom of God so that others might see the power of God. I want to stand tall and sing these words with every breath:
“Praise the Lord! Let all that I am praise the Lord. I will praise the Lord as long as I live. I will sing praise to my God with my dying breath.”
~Psalm 146:1-2
I wouldn’t be continuing on this journey if God hadn’t been providing me with this armor. Nor would I been continuing without the friends in my life who have gently pointed me back to these truths when Satan has begun to overpower me. I am so thankful for the community of people who have sat and processed with me, cried with and challenged me, prayed with and loved me. I can’t fight alone, none of us can.
I’m not shy about saying this journey has been difficult. By no means do I say it as a way to look for pity. I say it because my desire is that it will bring hope to those who read this. Sometimes it takes being let into someone else’s story to begin to understand our own story more. Maybe letting you into my story will encourage you to put on the Armor of God yourself and stand firm in the mighty power of our Lord as the battle rages around you.
“So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord!”
~Psalm 31:24
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith.” -1 Peter 5:8 (NLT)